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Ramblings of a Hopeless Romantic

and other things...

1/13/07 10:05 am

Good morning world
I just woke up about 5 minutes ago...incase you were really wondering.
Let's see... first two exams were yesterday, Math and English. Math I completely flunked and I know it because I left at least 4 pages out of the 8 in the written section blank. English I thought was very easy, so im pretty sure I got at least a B on that. 

Im leaving in about an hour to go to Borders... im determined to get my Cardboard Josh today... first time I asked was Nov. 13th and the guy said it would be about 2 weeks... pfffffffffft. Im asking again today (for the millionth time) and if he still says no Ill make him feel bad by letting out the longest and most pityful sigh he will ever witness. Ever.

I should also study today... I have three more exams to go. But I don't feel like studying. I'll probably waste my day playing piano or watching movies ive already seen. And I kind of feel like writing a letter to Stephen Fry. I'll tell him im bored and if he just happens to be bored too then im glad we could share a moment of bored-ness. =] Im cute, I know.

Hokaay well... breakfast calls. Hummm...what to eat...shdfhksflgk
eggs? maybe?


1/8/07 03:02 pm

Soo today pretty much sucked... a lot.
First, I left my cell in the car that I got dropped off in, so i was cell phone deprived all day... but that's nothing, really.
In chemistry we got back the big test, and of course i completely failed. Yay.
In psych we took a test... which was ok-ish...

Then during studio art, I decided to go talk to my counselor and ask her to switch me out of chemistry into astronomy, since I can't do chemistry to save my life, and trust me, i've tried everthing.
I go see my counselor and tell her that I want to switch out. Without even considering it she tells me to tell her why and what I have done to try to improve... so I go on and on and on about tutors and hours of studying and failing anyway and blah blah, only to her going "All I can do is move you down to regular chemistry."
"...why cant I just switch out of chem altogether?"
"Because youre taking it in college and you need a class that lays down the foundations."
"um.. im planning on going to an Art college i doubt ill be taking chemistry there, plus I already took Matter and Energy."
So this went on for a while and I couldn't change her mind. So, being all upset I went back to art, and then on to lunch. During lunch I told Anna about what happened and she told me my counselor was just being retarded and I should go try again, so I decided I have nothing to lose.

This is when my day just got worse..
I went back, and before I had a chance to say anything she goes, "Are you here about Chemistry again?"
"Yes... I just dont see why you cant switch me out im not going to be taking Chem in college"
"You dont know that"
and then in the midst of me trying to argue back i could feel myself on the verge of crying. and she goes
"Dont cry, it makes me feel bad. (right) Ill tell you what, take regular chemistry for two weeks and then ill call you back and if youre still having difficulty I'll switch you out."
I nodded, still on the verge of tears, grabbed a tissue and ran out. I ran to the nearest bathroom, which was fortunately empty, went into a stall and started bawling for about 5 minutes, until I heard someone come in and I had to leave.

I don't think I could possibly explain how much chemistry frustrates me. NO tutoring doesnt help, ive tried it. And my teacher sucks. Or I suck, I guess, whatever...
So then all day I was just pissy and hated life, and then 7th period I remembered I had a precalculus test... which I did through teary eyes. I ended up skipping two problems but I think (hope) I got the rest.

*sigh*....idk... i hate being so retarded at chemistry.

In other news... I got a haircut yesterday :)
I went from pretty long hair to very short...it took some getting used to, but I like it.

yea, well.. thats all..

till next time

1/5/07 11:09 pm - And again!

           Ive been having these random urges all afternoon to "BLOG"... i deleted my xanga a while ago, and facebook isnt really for blogging, and then i remembered about LJ, so, here I am. :)
          Today was pretty much like any other day... except I let the agonies of school bring me to an all time low by 7th period. I wanted to cry. I did cry during my Chem test because even after hours and hours of studying, i had no idea what to do. Speaking of Chemistry, I want to drop out for 2nd semester, but it wont look very good on my transcript. Plus i don't know of any science classes that you can take for one semester only. But I can't do chemistry to save my life.
          As the second half of junior year approaches im getting more and more worried. SAT's... I don't even want to think about. I did bad enough on the PSAT's. I have to pick out my schedule for next year, figure out an internship...im so nervous about all of this and about college and being rejected that it's come to the point where I can't think about anything else. I may be overreacting...but I can't help it. 
         So anyway, after a depressing bus ride home listening to the slowest Joni Mitchell song in the world on repeat 10 times, I decided im just gonna suck it up. I suck at chem, even after all the studying in the world, and that's that. I can probably manage a D, so I wont fail it (completely). The rest of my grades are decent. I have an 83 in AP Psych, a 95 in Studio Art, an 85 in AP World, a 95 in Hon English, and..a 77.8 in Precalc. I wont even mention my chem grade... ^^
         Ok, won't bore you with my school issues... not that anyone will ever read this. Maybe someone... somewhere... and hello to you.

Hm... this was a rather boring post wasn't it. Forgive me, I needed to vent... it felt nice. I miss blogging and telling random people about my issues... beats writing in a diary any day. Minus the hand cramps, too. I guess im back for a while :)

hokay, tired...have things to do tomorow...gah.

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